destination

And so The Planning can commence...

I was offered a job at a summer camp about 45 minutes from Seattle, WA, depending on my references checking out (there’s no reason why they shouldn’t). It’s pretty much perfect. I’ll be supervising staff, getting to spend time and get to know campers of a variety of ages, in a variety of programs. It’s been a few years since I supervised more than one person at a time, or worked with kids who were younger than middle school (my nanny toddlers right now don’t count), but I am excited to get back into it. While it’s not the job I most wanted, I procrastinated and put off applying too long, and that position was filled. (Secretly, I was scared that I might not get hired anywhere, so I was hesitant about even attempting. Self-fulfilling prophecy in action.) It is a job on the Leadership Team, which is where I wanted to be. After 17 years at summer camp, 7 as staff, I’m beyond being a general counselor. But, I’m not yet ready to be as separate from the campers as an Assistant Director is. So the position they offered me is the best of both worlds; I’ll be helping to make camp run smoothly, while at the same time having plenty of personal time with the campers, playing games, doing arts and crafts, singing songs. I am beyond excited to get back to spending my summer doing what I do best. Plus, it’s in Washington! Finally, a destination for my journey. Bonus, I’ve wanted to move to Seattle since I graduated college. I don’t know anything about it, yet, and I don’t know anyone who lives there. But, something about the place has been calling me for years now. And no, it’s not because I’m a Twihard (yes I am ashamed I know the phrase "Twihard"), or obsessed with Shades of Grey (although I did read all of those books; they made perfect beach reading on vacation in St. Thomas). And yes, I know that it rains a lot there. Those are pretty much the only things people from New England say when I tell them I want to move there. Luckily, on my last trip, I met plenty of people who had nothing but lovely things to say about the place.

Living at a camp nearby for the summer is a good introduction to Seattle, too. I don’t have to commit to a lease or a job and then discover that I don’t like the place. I’ll be able to go into the city on my weekends off, plus spend some time there before and after the camp season, so I can really make a better decision on whether it’s the place for me or not. I’ll also meet plenty of people from camp who live in the area; and since I’ll be at a Girl Scout camp, I’ll at least be able to volunteer with the organization, giving me something to do while I find a job. One of the problems that had been holding me back all these years was the whole unknown about it. I talk a big game about moving far away from New Hampshire, but every time I’ve seriously thought about it, I would get over-anxious about not knowing anybody, and not having a job. Not having something, anything, to connect to once I got out there. Now, at least I have some kind of safety net.

With a destination finally set, I can really start my road trip planning. I have a general itinerary in my head, but few definite details so far. J and I will take a week to drive down to South Carolina, staying with friends along the way. After he flies back home, I plan on driving as quickly as possible to San Diego, stopping off at a few places along the way. I want to spend most of trip though going up the Pacific Coast Highway. I have friends along the way, but the majority of my evenings will spent with my little orange tent.

Now that I have a general plan, it’s time to start figuring out the details. While I like to make a detailed plan, for my OCD self, I rarely ever actually follow it. With my last trip, I made a detailed itinerary of where I planned on visiting each day, and where I planned on sleeping that night, mostly for my father’s benefit. This time around, I think I’ll end up making an even more fluid plan, with only the drive from Richmond to San Diego thoroughly plotted out. The Pacific Coast and I will play it by ear.

Man, I just want to start driving right now!

Destination vs Direction

Holding me back from planning my road trip now is the fact that I don't have a destination yet. The original idea was that I would take a 1-2 month trip to wherever the camp I work at this summer is. But I don't know where that is yet! I'm in the middle of applying to camps in Washington, Oregon, Northern California, and Colorado. I'm not sure if I want to keep applying or just stick with those four for right now. And until I get accepted somewhere, my planning is on hold.

 

But, is the destination really necessary right now? i know the direction I want to head (west), and I have a general sense of how I want to get there (south, then west). And I know about how long I want to travel for (no less than 1 month). So why does it matter if I don't know where I'll end up yet? What I'm looking forward to right now is not the destination (well, it is, but in a different sense than the unspeakable urge I have to drive) but that I am headed in a direction. One that's not towards my current jobs, not towards my apartment, not towards my parents' house. But rather one that's as far from that as I can get. I live across the street from the Atlantic Ocean, only a few hours from the Canadian border. It's not like I'm limited when it comes to what direction I want to go. 

 

I guess what's really holding me back is that I don't know for sure that I will actually end up somewhere. My summer life is a great big unknown right now. What if something happens and I'm here in New Hampshire again? Still nannying, still waitressing? Not camp counseling? I'm nervous about not be accepted somewhere. I'm nervous about certain people/events from the past getting in the way. 

 

I guess in the end though, even if I do end up just driving around the country in a circle, and wind up back in New Hampshire, I'll at least have had the journey. And while working at a new camp in a new state is my ultimate goal, if it doesn't happen this summer, it'll happen next. It will happen, so I might as well enjoy the ride, no matter where I end up.